Avery's Advocate

Name: Amy Nixon
Children: Daughter, 3
Work: editor of metroparent west magazine, 30West magazine, specialty publications and design editor at Lake Country Publications
Favorite part of being a mom: Snuggle time is the best part of my day!
Least favorite part of being a mom: Accepting the fact that my house is never really going to be neat and tidy again.
Little known fact: I've been almost 6 feet tall since the 5th grade.

I'm officially "THAT mother"

special needs; doctors; moms

Self-reflection is a funny thing. 

I think it's safe to say that the majority of my coworkers and acquaintances would describe me as soft-spoken, even-tempered and maybe even quiet.

To my daughter's doctors, however, I'm likely viewed as the opposite: assertive, demanding and maybe even authoritative. Yes, to them, I'm "that mother."

I was having a glass of wine with a couple of coworkers last week and was explaining to them how I have to call Avery's doctors several times until I get a response back. I was explaining that when she's been poked over and over again and the phlebotomist(s) is not able to get a blood draw, I demand (although as nicely as possible) to have another person called in. At a recent hospital stay, the nurse started going over release papers with me before the neurologist had made it in for rounds. When I said I didn't feel comfortable being discharged without speaking to the doctor, I was told he was in surgery and we'd have to wait. Fine with me, I said. And we waited several hours.

The thing is, when it comes to my kid, I don't care what anyone else thinks about me. Admittedly, in every other life situation, I do care. I want my coworkers to like me. I want my friends to respect me. I want my family to find me comforting, caring and supportive. But when it comes to Avery, I'll be as demanding as I feel necessary, thank you very much. I'm doing what I think is best for my kid.

Recently, we've been struggling with several different opinions from several different doctors. This is extremely hard to deal with, and it's almost impossible to know if I'm doing the right thing when it comes to making medical decisions. In a conversation with our pediatrician last week, I told him I was struggling to find the balance between allowing test results to have me in a panic or simply waiting a week to re-test.

"I don't want to be the psycho mom who is freaking out over this," I told him. "But I also don't feel comfortable waiting a whole week to test again."

"If anyone calls you a psycho mom, they haven't walked a minute in your shoes," he responded.

And last night, I was emailing back and forth with another member of a support group online who told me, "When in doubt, go with your motherly instinct. And don't apologize for it."

When it comes to being a mom- following your instincts is really all you can do.  

So what kind of person am I?

I'm soft-spoken. I'm even-tempered. I'm often quiet. But most importantly, I'm Avery's mom (which means throwing everything else out of the window if necessary - and not apologizing for it.)

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